1 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,860 The Sheik of Araby, 4 .30. 2 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,500 It's Tommy Cooper! 3 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:15,060 Ha ha ha! 4 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,040 I'm awfully sorry about the delay, ladies and gentlemen. 5 00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:47,460 Unfortunately, all the lights have gone out backstage and we've all had to get 6 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:48,460 dressed in the dark. 7 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:51,160 But we'll be all ready in just a moment. 8 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,260 Yes, right. Ladies and gentlemen, we're ready to start now. So here he is. It's 9 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:56,260 Tommy Cooper! 10 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,420 Hello. 11 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,960 Thank you. 12 00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:05,780 Thank you. 13 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,520 I'm sorry, we had a little bit of a bother up there. 14 00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,250 I'm used to dressing in the dark. 15 00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:13,050 I'm used to it. What? 16 00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:18,030 The bow tie. I thought I wasn't that tall. 17 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,510 Is it raining? What is it? 18 00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:28,830 Ladies and gentlemen, Eric Sykes. 19 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,280 Somebody's... The lights are gone. Somebody's pitched my jacket. 20 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,160 I just said that. Somebody's taken mine. 21 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,339 Two jackets? 22 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:52,080 Yes. That's not right. That's not right, is it, Mr. Rees? No. Two jackets in one 23 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,380 night? That's not good, is it? It's not right. 24 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,380 I mean, I don't mind a pair of braces or a sock. 25 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,060 I mean, that's dressers' perks. 26 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,240 Yes. I saw that. 27 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,420 Yes. But I don't... Excuse me, Mr. 28 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,020 Sykes. Just a suggestion. 29 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,560 Yes, Mr. Rees. It might not work, but just a suggestion. Why don't you change 30 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,560 jackets? 31 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,910 But, you know, we're these waiting in salt. 32 00:02:12,150 --> 00:02:12,829 Go on. 33 00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:15,370 We're not the same size, aren't we? Not with me, with him. 34 00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:16,789 Oh, with him? Right. 35 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:17,830 All right. I don't mind. 36 00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:21,850 I'll change jacket and I'll tell you what I'll do. Yes. I'll get on the 37 00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:25,230 Get on the blower. I'll get on the police to West End Central. Yes. Well, 38 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,009 not the Waverleys? 39 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,170 No, you'll get a better class of policemen up at West End. 40 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,470 You know? Really? I'll get on the blower now, shall I? Right you are. Get on the 41 00:02:32,470 --> 00:02:34,570 blower. Can you manage? I can manage, yes. Right. I can manage. 42 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:35,790 Right? 43 00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:37,370 Oh, that's better, isn't it? 44 00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:44,430 Here's a little trick now with Charlie's Lincoln ring. 45 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:58,510 My father used to do this trick. 46 00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,070 Big man, my father. Didn't have hair on his chest. 47 00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:02,270 Twigs. 48 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:35,740 Thank you Thank you very much Why don't you sit in the audience 49 00:03:56,220 --> 00:04:00,200 Now to get them apart, I saw you do a little shake like this, and they drop 50 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,960 apart, they probably aren't very hard. 51 00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:24,700 when he threw a camera shot the other day, and I said to this man, he was 52 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,000 down behind the counter, right down he was, I said, have you got any for 53 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000 hiccups? 54 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,499 See? 55 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,540 He's right there. I said, have you got any for hiccups? 56 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:38,760 And he got up, kind of like that, and he ran across the face with a towel. 57 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,440 I said, what did he do that for? 58 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,660 He said, you haven't got hiccups now, have you? 59 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,860 I said, I never had them. It's when my wife opened the car. 60 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,750 You should have come to make -up before the show. Well, I've been to make -up. 61 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:07,890 Oh, have you? Yeah. It doesn't look good, does it? 62 00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:14,830 I don't know. I bet I already had it done, you see. 63 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:20,120 Cooper. And now we take a look at a man whose versatility is unsurpassed, a man 64 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:25,060 who has done literally everything, and share just a few of the many lives of 65 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:26,060 Tommy Cooper. 66 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,060 I've told you, never ring me at work. 67 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,240 I say, how much longer are you going to be? 68 00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:09,780 Come in now, sir. 69 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,260 Here we are, sir. 70 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,200 Well, what's this? 71 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,900 Well, you tell me you wanted a brown jersey. 72 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,780 Tonight we deal with liquor, as seen through the eyes of a variety of people. 73 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:08,600 Well, now, barman, I'd like something long and cool. 74 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:09,980 Right, sir. 75 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:17,260 Whiskey, sir? 76 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,320 I'm getting soaked. 77 00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:27,060 Chateau Robespierre, 1937, sir. I think you'll find it's an impertinent little 78 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,060 wine. 79 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:34,020 Very important. 80 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,900 Barman, could you put a head on this, please? 81 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,100 Certainly, sir. 82 00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,440 Miss, can you change this? 83 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:52,880 This beer's flat. 84 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000 Look at that look. 85 00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:00,780 That's my beer. 86 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,660 What are you talking about? That's my beer. Put it down. 87 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,300 I've just bought it. Put that beer down. 88 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,640 It must be. That's my beer. 89 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,480 Coins from there. 90 00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:44,850 Oops, sorry. 91 00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:47,830 Too many bottles. 92 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,890 Here's the glass, here's the bottle. 93 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,630 I just covered it like that there. 94 00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:55,190 Covered it here like that. Covered the glass there. 95 00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:56,670 Oops. 96 00:11:57,490 --> 00:11:58,490 Too many bottles. 97 00:11:59,850 --> 00:12:00,970 Here's the bottle, here's the glass. 98 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:04,730 The bottle will now change place with the glass. 99 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:17,140 I've now changed places. 100 00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,760 The most difficult part is make them go back again. 101 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,460 Here's the bottle, here's the glass. 102 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,760 Oh, too many bottles. 103 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,560 Here's the glass, here's the bottle, here's the glass. 104 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:46,260 Boom! 105 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,550 Solid plank of wood. 106 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,350 Did you hear that joke about the karate expert that joined the army? 107 00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:48,710 The first day he saluted, he killed himself. 108 00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:55,850 Thank you. 109 00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:07,770 Now, the idea of the trick is this. Three swords. 110 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:09,270 One, two, three. 111 00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:13,810 As I hit the tide, may I sit in a moment? 112 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:16,350 Pick her up and place her on the three swords. 113 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:17,670 Like that. 114 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:21,750 As I take two swords away, I shall be suspended in mid -air on one sword. 115 00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:27,910 As I now hit the tide. 116 00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:32,870 A lot of doctors say that hypnotism is from the mind. Well, it's not. It's from 117 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:33,870 the hips. 118 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:41,620 Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. 119 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,160 Your eyes are getting heavier. 120 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,760 And your back aches. 121 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,260 Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. 122 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,300 Sleep. 123 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,820 Sleep. 124 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,680 Sleep. 125 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,240 Sleep. 126 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:12,210 Fullback. 127 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,020 On the floor. 128 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,200 On the floor. 129 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,420 Other thanks. 130 00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:39,140 Right. 131 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,120 Wait, 132 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,460 wait, wait, wait. 133 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,180 I'm glad we found our jackets. 134 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,440 Yes. 135 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,900 When he wouldn't To 136 00:16:55,900 --> 00:17:03,140 hold 137 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,139 a whole job 138 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,920 this evening, we're very proud to have with us a famous biblical character. 139 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,320 Ladies and gentlemen, it's Noah! 140 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,000 Good evening, sir. Ah, good evening. 141 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,340 Now... Yes. 142 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:16,680 Now, sir, about your famous ark. You built it yourself, I understand. Oh, 143 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,599 did, yes. Out of wood. 144 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,260 Gopher wood? No, I just sent the wife over. 145 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,080 And what was her name? 146 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,940 Joan. Joan? Yes. Well, you've heard of Joan of Arc? 147 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,000 But she was made of Orleans. 148 00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,340 Yeah, I don't know what she was made of. I don't know what she was made of. 149 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,080 Well, she was very big, I tell you that. 150 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:40,940 Enormous. That's why every time she went on the ark, the ark went... Just like 151 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:41,899 that. 152 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,240 That's why they called it the ark. I see. 153 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,160 But to get back to the subject, I suppose the next thing you did was to 154 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,360 her. Oh, yes. Yes, I cracked a bottle over her. 155 00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:50,360 And she floated down the river. 156 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,040 And the ark stayed where it was. 157 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,880 I'm sure you were really very fond of your wife. Oh, yes, she was an angel. 158 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:00,880 she? Oh, yes, an archangel. 159 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,020 Very useful around here. Oh, very useful. Yes, she's a man of all the 160 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,100 Well, what sort of lights did you have on the ark? 161 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,300 Ark lights. 162 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,160 Tell me, sir, why did you build the ark? 163 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,520 I think they're still alive. 164 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,060 Why did you build the ark? I thought I'd have something saving for a rainy day. 165 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,320 I see. And where did you get all the wood for it? 166 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,580 Well, I... 167 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,760 A very large tree. I cut down this very large tree. Oh, I see. And my parents 168 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,760 never forgave me. Why? 169 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:29,900 Well, they were living in it. 170 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:35,300 Did you fell all the rest of the trees as well? No, no. My son, he felled 500. 171 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,820 Felled 500 trees? 172 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,200 He's a lovely fellow. 173 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,300 Yes. 174 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,420 So which part of the ark did you build first? 175 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,880 The front. 176 00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:46,260 Front? Bow. 177 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,780 Yes, I built the front, then the middle, then the front. No, no, no, then the 178 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:55,820 back. After all, you couldn't have had two front ends for the ark. Oh, yes, we 179 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,180 did. Yeah, well, I forgot to unfold the plans, you see. 180 00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:05,840 What were the first animals you found to take with you on your voyage? Two 181 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,840 squirrels over a tree. 182 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:08,320 Squirrels? What were they doing? Nothing. 183 00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:15,040 Because you must have known some fascinating people in your time. For 184 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,760 Goliath. Oh, yes. 185 00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:18,400 He was a horrible lofty. 186 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,300 And then there was Jonah. 187 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,520 Yeah, call him Fish Face. 188 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:25,920 And then there was that really frightening man who slew a thousand men 189 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,840 single hand. It's Samson. What did you call him? 190 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,080 Sir. 191 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:36,140 Now, sir, about taking wives along on the voyage, did you draw lots? Yes, and 192 00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,140 had mine. 193 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,000 What sort of a man was Lot? 194 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:44,720 Very strange man. Was he? Oh, very strange. Yes, he used to feed the 195 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,260 Was there nothing strange about feeding the monkeys? 196 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,480 To the lions. 197 00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:49,870 Very old joke. 198 00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:50,990 Well, I'm a very old man. 199 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:58,570 Tell me, is it true that when you went on board the Ark, all you had on you 200 00:20:58,570 --> 00:20:59,830 the clothes on your back? 201 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,090 That's right. And I was very cold in the front, I tell you that. 202 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,970 And what was the most unforgettable moment on the voyage? 203 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:09,110 Well, when I looked behind, I saw something following us. My goodness, 204 00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:10,110 it? The pier. 205 00:21:11,710 --> 00:21:12,710 I've forgotten to cast off. 206 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,630 And on what did you feed your animals? 207 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:18,050 Corn, wheat and goochum. 208 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,680 Gookin? What's gookin? Nothing. What's gookin with you? 209 00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:26,880 Of course, being on the water so long must have made some of your animals very 210 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,680 disturbed. Oh, yes, and very nervous. 211 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,040 Really? I mean, the cat swallowed a ball of wool. Well, what happened? She had 212 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,040 mittens. 213 00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:38,220 And what did the animals do? What did they do to keep from getting bored? 214 00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:41,520 Well, the duck and the drake used to dance together. 215 00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:46,220 A duck and a drake dancing together? Yes, you know, slow, slow, quack, quack, 216 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:47,220 slow. 217 00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:50,570 Of course, with all those animals on board, it must have been very noisy at 218 00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:54,050 times. Oh, yes, yes, very noisy. The lions used the roar, the dogs barked. 219 00:21:54,050 --> 00:21:56,010 did the mice squeak? Only when they were squoken to. 220 00:21:59,730 --> 00:22:02,770 Tell me, sir, tell me, where did the animals sleep? 221 00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:08,690 Pardon? Where did the animals sleep? Well, they all slept on the upper deck. 222 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:12,350 see. Except Griller. Oh, yes. George the Griller. George, he was eight feet tall 223 00:22:12,350 --> 00:22:14,410 and had an arm span of six feet. Where did he sleep? 224 00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:15,710 Anywhere he wanted. 225 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,000 Who are your favourites, sir? The dogs. 226 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,760 I see. Yes, there's one thing I will say for dogs. And what's that? 227 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,580 And how did you, sir? This is an interesting question. 228 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,780 How did you personally while away the time when you were on the ark? 229 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:40,180 Well, I used to teach a rover, you know, how to sit up and beg. Oh, that is 230 00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:43,540 interesting. And how long did that take? About 40 days, 40 nights. 231 00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:45,700 Very clever rover, very clever. 232 00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:48,380 40 days and nights? Well, that's not very clever. 233 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,740 Just to sit up and beg. 234 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,960 What, for a goldfish? 235 00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:56,170 I believe you've brought along some animals with you this evening. May we 236 00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,030 them? Oh, that's the monkeys. 237 00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:00,630 Oh, yes. Oh, well, it's feeding time. Would you help me to feed them? Yes, I 238 00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:01,630 will. 239 00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:03,150 Here you are. There's one bag for you. 240 00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:05,010 Here they are, look. All jumping about. 241 00:23:06,190 --> 00:23:07,190 Up there, look. 242 00:23:08,610 --> 00:23:09,610 Hey! 243 00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:02,130 Thank you.